BAD FEELINGS, BAD VIBES AND DESPAIR..........OH MY!

Do you ever have something occur in your life over and over in a short period of time? Maybe different people will make the same comment to you over a few weeks when they don't even know each other. You probably know what I mean. Well, over the last 3 1/2 weeks, I have had three people mention that they have experienced something that has been very disturbing and very troubling. Each has experienced it at different levels, but regardless, it has been similar. In all three instances, as soon as I began to listen I knew EXACTLY what they were talking about because it has happened to me, too. What really got my attention was when I was getting my hair cut on Friday (by a woman who didn't even know me) and she brings this up in conversation. As I left the shop I said silently, "Ok Lord, what do You want me to do with this?" Well, what He wants me to do with it is what I'm doing now! Talk about it with you. Over the next few minutes if you suddenly think, "That's me," then just know that while you read God is doing his part to set you free!

A few weeks ago a church leader was telling of sometimes experiencing a sense of darkness or evil, or would get the feeling that something bad was about to happen. Another friend told of waking up with this horrific feeling that something was going to happen to her husband. The lady cutting my hair told me of these "vibes" that she gets about someone or something and how she knows that means something terrible has either happened, or is about to happen. She told me that it usually involves a loved one. (I did use this as an opportunity to try to minister and encouraged her to investigate God.) Believe me, though, I can relate to all this. I know how sometimes this stuff can paralyze you.

Before we go on, I need to ask you the ridiculous question as to if you consider living with these feelings GOOD, or BAD? Like I said, ridiculous question. For me they used to be horrible. Now repeat after me: God is GOOD; the devil is BAD. God is GOOD; the devil is BAD.....and I know the difference.

Now we are all different. Even though many of us may share similar experience, it doesn't mean that the cause of the experience is always the same for us. In some cases the devil may be messing around. He might be wanting to plant seeds of doubt and deception. satan wants us to live in fear. A spirit of heaviness or darkness just might be trying to hijack our day. OR(and this is the case most often with me), there is another reason why this happens.

I cannot over emphasis though, if this is satan, you have the ability to turn the tables on him and cause some severe hemorrhaging in the realms of darkness. If satan plays with our minds and loses, it will cause him some great confusion. Talk about losing a grip.

There was a time in my life where I used to wake up with a sense of gloom and despair, like something terrible was about to happen. It would sometimes haunt me all day long and quite often something bad would happen. I would then think, "So that was it." One time I had this feeling and later in the day my mom called and told me my dad had badly cut his hand with a chain saw. After that my fear with these feelings grew out of control. There were times, however,where nothing would happen, other than my day being wasted in fear that something terrible was going to happen. That in itself was horrible because how can you have a decent day when it is filled with fear and paranoia?

Finally one morning while this was happening I got pretty upset. I mean who wants to live with that? In getting upset, I did what I should have done the very first time it happened. I had a conversation with God. I remember saying something like, "God what is going on? I am trying to live right, I read Your Word, I pray............why do You allow this to happen to me?" I wouldn't say I was angry with God, but I was pretty irritated that this happened so often. I just wanted to get to the bottom of the whole thing. Suddenly, almost without realizing it, I found myself entering into a time of prayer. Now, I honestly can't remember what exactly came into my mind that day, because I since have had dozens of similar experiences, but there was a situation that came into my mind that really burdened me, so I focused my prayer on it and asked God to intervene. I prayed on this for several minutes and suddenly I felt refreshed, relaxed and at peace. The feeling of despair was gone. Completely gone! I remember thinking, "Was that all I needed to do, pray about it?" (Was that ALL I needed to do.........jeez what a stupid question when it involves prayer!)

I took that experience and learned from it. However, those feelings didn't stop and in fact they still occur. In fact I woke up today with something very similar. Now, however, the way I REACT to the situation has completely changed. When I become unsettled like that, or develop a sense of desperation or anxiety, red flags go up all over the place and I know exactly what I need to do. I can be out in the kitchen watching a ballgame on the computer and suddenly there will be a disturbing jolt in my spirit. Kay knows exactly what is going on when the game goes off and she sees me kneeling down in the living room. Usually the first words out of my mouth are, "Ok, God, what is it? What do You want me to pray about? Who needs intervention? God there is something that is not right, that I need you to change!" I will then pray over every thought, person, or situation that comes into my mind. Usually, I will pray both in my own understanding and in the spirit, because I won't know how to pray. (Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27) Often times the Spirit will then reveal to me the person, or the exact situation that needs God's intervention and I will pray as long as it takes. That might mean 5 minutes or an hour. But I can tell you this. After I pray, I am often completely refreshed, renewed and encouraged. Instead of bondage, there is freedom. The feeling of gloom or despair is usually completely gone. Better to spend an hour in prayer instead of spending an entire day or night living in fear, paranoia, or anxiety wondering what may or may not happen. Now there are a few occasions where I am not completely released from that feeling, but it is always greatly eased. In those cases I will continue my day, but with an attitude of prayer and will stay alert to situations around me. When I do this and keep my mind on the Lord, sometimes I don't even notice when the burden is completely gone. It just goes.

I've even gotten to the point to where I am able to even discern the source. As I have grown in the Lord, I can now tell when it is the devil trying to mess with me and when the Holy Spirit is letting me know that it is time to intercede. EITHER WAY, the devil is defeated. If he is just wanting to mess with me, I mess with him. The last thing he wants is for me to go into a time of prayer, praising and worshiping the King. Obviously, satan has learned not to mess with me much in that way anymore, so with me it's usually just knowing that someone needs help somewhere and God will use my prayers to intervene in a great way. There have been MANY TIMES, even months later, where while talking to someone they will tell me about a certain situation they were in and the Holy Spirit will say to me, "Now you know why you were on your knees that day and at that very moment! You talk about a time of WOW and chills! (The good chills, the Holy Spirit kind of chills, maybe better known as goosebumps.) Sometimes, I can even discern who or what the call to prayer is for. I can actually discern right away when the "feeling" is for me to pray for myself. I've learned that it is kind of a warning from the Lord to be extra prayed up and mindful of Him, because there will be someone or something that I will encounter very soon that will tempt me to either think, say, or react to in a way that is not fitting for a child of God. I may suddenly become vulnerable to sin, so I know that the more I strengthen the inner man, the better the chance for me to be able to go to sleep in peace that night knowing that God gracefully led me to a time of victory. Don't think for one minute that I didn't have to learn this the hard way, but eventually this thick headed bone head did learn!!!!

I remember laughing years ago at a commercial on tv. Maybe you even saw it. You hear a woman's voice ask, while they are showing different people either at work, home, or in a park something like, "Do you live your life in anxiety or fear? Are you constantly faced with feelings that something bad is going to happen............."and she goes on and on. I only remember that part of it, I don't remember if the commercial was for a medicine you could take, or a book to read, or something else, but I remember thinking if people would just go to God for the remedy it would be so much simpler for them. Then again, isn't that the way it is with most of the things that come in and out of our lives? (And there was a woman in the crowd who had a hemorrhage for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal from many doctors through the years and had spent everything she had to pay them, but she had gotten no better. In fact, she was worse. She had heard about Jesus, so she came up behind him through the crowd and touched the fringe of his robe. For she thought to herself, "If I can just touch his clothing, I will be healed." Immediately the bleeding stopped, and she could feel that she had been healed! (Mark 5:25-29, new living translation)

The next time you have a feeling of gloom and doom, instead of running scared dare to think that maybe God instead wants to use you to turn the tide. God using your prayers and praises to wage war on a potential bad situation, the enemy and darkness. Of course there will still be times when bad things happen to us and in this world. We do live in a fallen world, but even then you will instead be so prayed up and walking in victory that you will be able to face adversity with confidence and the anointing of the Lord.

Now, go in His peace and remember, "..IF THE SON SETS YOU FREE, YOU WILL BE FREE INDEED." (John 8:36) After all, the DOCTOR is always in!!!

Sending victories in Jesus,
Mark S.